My Gram, or G. Dubs as I like to call her!
I think in life we all have those moments where we sit and think, what the hell am I doing? Why am I throwing myself into something completely, which is making me miss out on moments, on life, on the everyday happenings that make our lives worth living?
I don't want any of you to think that that statements has anything to do with me regretting all the time and effort I put into my flower fields, designs or my business because I love every ounce of it, even when it feels overwhelming. It more so has to do with finding a balance in life, finding a way to make time for each component that makes my life mine and your life yours. We are all weaved together in this life, kinda like the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, there is a root that leads us together and a part of life that is so incredible.
This past month I decided that I needed to simmer and stop obsessing over what I needed to be doing, whether it was house work, business work, working out, taking care of the kids, animals and making sure I was still being present in everyday. One random Monday I took the morning off and just went and had breakfast with my friend Melissa. We were talking life and I was telling her about my goals and all the shit I needed to do, basically sounding like I was on the Dr. Phil show. She looks at me and says "How are ever supposed to feel like you are accomplishing anything when the daily list you have given yourself is physically unattainable, especially in that frame of time for any human being". She was right, the weight that was on my shoulders I had placed their myself and it really started to mess with my mental and emotionally well being. At that moment I said "That's it! I am going to start watching the sunrise for my own personal moment instead of feeling like I need to share it on IG Stories. I am going to play with my kids in the snow instead of watching from the window while I try to make a new pintrest meal. I am going to take a day and spend it with the people that I love most, yet see the least of!
This is when I started my Friday breakfast with my Grandma, the most vivacious 81 year old I know. At first I was like, what are we going to talk about the whole time, 4 plus hours just me and Gram. I don't remember the last time it was just us without a million kids around, could we do it! So, I picked her up and took her to Upper Crust, which is a little local bakery with the best blueberry clouds (still not as good as my Grandma's polish coffee cake) and lattes. We sat in the window and watched the active town, listened to all the people chat and just thoroughly enjoyed being with one another. I came home that afternoon feeling lighter, feeling like I wanted to get to know this woman more than just the fact that she loves to read the obituary's, clean her kitchen cabinets every other week and going out every Wednesday with her girlfriends.
So the next week we went to another little local diner that she had never been to and we really talked this time. We sat and I asked her all about her life. I found out that her mother (my Great Grandmother) came over to the US from Poland, alone, when she was just 14. She then went to live with her 4 brothers over in Detroit where she met my great grandfather (who also traveled over to the US back in the late 1800's) The two got married and moved to Dunkirk for a job at a local factory. They then settled in Arkwiright, NY and eventually bought the old farm house that my flower farm now sits today.
My Grandma had 6 brothers and sisters, each one having to quit school at 16 so that they could work on the family farm and help support the family. At this time they were growing tomatoes and green beans that were wholesaled to the local grocery stores and markets. She decided that she still needed to earn more money and took a job at a local silk factory where they made slips and women's under clothing until they moved the plant 2 years later. It is now 1955 and my grandma is working for a catering company that supplies breakfast and lunch to the local factory workers.
This is around the time that she meets my Grandpa down at a local dance club where they dance the night away, he becomes smitten with her and then offers to drive her home. She takes the offer and then realizes he drives like a maniac and tells him that she doesn't want to see him again. Several months go by and they meet again at the same local dance club; seriously though why don't we have things like this anymore. He offers to give her a ride home and she hesitantly says yes, this time he promises to drive slower, which he did. This is then the start of their relationship and the start of my family tree!
These are the bits of my Grandmas life that I may have missed out on if I didn't take the time to not only ask, but to just sit and listen. To turn my phone off, to turn my business & mom mind off and to just be in the moment with her. I can't wait to continue our Friday mornings together and to continue to get to know the woman that inspires me the most. The woman who has legitimately worked her ass off to get to where she is today. I am so proud to be her granddaughter, but even more proud to be her friend.